We are all rich in human relations. Unfortunately too many of us don’t know we have it, or hoard it. We are unaware that we could add to the personal worth, in human relations, of others. We have it within us to make others feel better about themselves, to feel accepted and even appreciated.
The fastest way to improve your standing with others is to give away the wealth you posses. The best of it is; it won’t cost you and you won’t run out. So don’t try to barter it or bribe people with it just give it away indiscriminately it will always come back to you multiplied.
Every one needs to feel important even the rich, successful and famous, no one is exempt. Politeness, manners and common decency are all based on this hunger that people have to feel some personal worth. These traits are ways in which we acknowledge another persons importance, we all need to feel that others acknowledge our importance.
What we actually need is for others to help us by confirming our own sense of personal worth. Our feelings about ourselves are sustained, to a large extent, on how others behave towards us. No one can sustain their own dignity and worth if everyone they meet treets them as worthless.
This is why little things, that seem inconsequential, can have such a hugh effect on relations. So before you tell the story that you think is so cute and harmless about the way your partner went the wrong way down a one-way street, think about the effect this might have on their sense of worth.
Recognise the other person. Causes of dissatisfaction are, in no particular order:
- Failure to give credit
- Failure to correct grievances
- Criticising in front of others
- Failure to seek the others opinion
- Failure to encourage
I am sure that we can all add at least one other to this list.
So, here are four ways to make others feel important:
1. Think other people are important. Just convince yourself that others are important, once you achieve this it will come across to others without you even trying.
2. Notice people. We only notice things around us that are important to us, in fact, we only notice a fraction of what goes on around us. If two people sit down and watch a movie, they will each emphasise different parts of the story when asked about the film later.
3. Don’t compete with others. This one is tough, as we all have the same unconscious need to feel important. When someone tells us how great their dog is we all want to say ours is better/faster/stronger, you get the picture. This is because we all want to appear important and create a good impression.
The most effective way to make a good impression on others is to let them know you are impressed by them. If you can achieve this, they will likely think you one of the smartest and personable people they have met.
4. Know when to correct. Often we only correct others to increase our own feeling of importance at their expense.
Just try to think first; Does the fact that they are right, or wrong, make any real difference? If all that is at stake is their, and your feeling of importance, why bother?
To sum it all up, just put the other persons ego above your own. You will be surprised by the results.
